Possessions: Possessor or Possessed?

A friend just sent me a message on Facebook about what is important in life. As she said, “It’s not what you have but who you have in your life.” I started to respond but decided that a longer response would be appropriate.

  We become obsessed with our material possessions and with the pursuit of physical pleasure. William Wordsworth observes in one of his sonnets, “The world is too much with us, late and soon./Getting and spending we lay waste our powers.” We look to possessions to make our lives meaningful. We think that a bigger car or fancier house will make us happy. Unfortunately, after we acquire those objects, we are still not happy. And too often the objects possess us instead. Emerson says, “Things are in the saddle and ride mankind.” A person who gets a new car worries about getting the first scratch on the paint. We obsess over the possessions until we are truly possessed, as though the object were a demon controlling us.

               We all want happiness. Thomas Jefferson, in the Declaration of Independence, changes John Locke’s “Life, liberty, and property” to “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” The Dalai Lama has a book entitled The Art of Happiness, and he says that happiness should be our natural state.  Obviously, happiness is one of the primary goals for most people in their lives. The problem is in locating it. Too often, our material goods, instead of insuring our contentment with our lives, just become a drawback to real happiness.

               The Bible says “the kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21), and happiness also is within. When we are obsessed with our possessions and physical pleasures, we are looking in all the wrong places for happiness. When one possession does not make us happy, we look for another one that will. The solution is as simple as stopping, sitting down, and looking within. The objects that fill our lives, and that we use for transportation, shelter, or for any of the other requirements of physical life then become just objects again. They no longer possess us. They no longer ride us, as Emerson says. We regain control over our own inherently joyful nature by the simple act of paying attention to our immediate lives and our internal awareness of serenity. Then joy, like a butterfly, lands in our hands when we stop pursuing it.

Pain vs Suffering

  "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." I have this quote on my refrigerator. I watch the world around me, and I am amazed at what we do to ourselves and to others. The First Noble Truth of Buddhism is "Life is suffering." We inflict pain on ourselves and on others without having any idea what we are doing and why. One comment I make frequently, especially while watching the news, is that 99% of our problems in the world are caused by ego, emotions, and appetites. If we could control those three elements, the world would be transformed. Unfortunately, we cling to the very aspects of ourselves that cause our own suffering. Our relationships suffer because we can't get outside of our own greedy little selves to consider that other person sitting in front of us. We stuff our faces with food because we somehow feel that if we eat more, we will feel better. And of course, the opposite happens. It's like the Thanksgiving meal everyday--we eat until we are miserable. We drink alcohol, take drugs, or engage in other mindless, destructive behaviors that don't remove the suffering--they add to it.
  So how do we break the cycle, how do we escape the wheel of suffering? I used to tell my students "The best things in life are free. The only thing you have to pay is attention." Being mindful of the moment, of enjoying the "now" will change how we view the world. If we live aware, fully in the moment, we can control the triple-headed demon of ego, appetite and emotion. Instead of clinging to our shackles of suffering, we can remove them and live free and happy. We can be fully aware of ourselves and others. Our world won't change: we will just be aware of it as it is. And that will change us.
  So much for my first blog entry.